I Travel Back Down That Road (it was only just a dream)
by unoriginalrhombus
Summary: "It's weird to have her old nickname tingle against her ears. She decides that she hates it when it comes from Finn in Lima. She hates anything that came and died and bred in Lima." (Rachel centric with some Faberry.)


**_A/N: I honestly don't know what this is. Motivation that I believe in true love? It's a story that circles around Rachel. There is Faberry, but this is Rachel-centric. The mistakes are mine, please read and review, aaaaand...I LOVE EVERYONE._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing. No Glee, No Rachel, and No Quinn._**

* * *

**I Travel Back Down That Road**

**(It Was Only Just A Dream**)

Rachel Berry was nearly 21 when Kurt and Blaine sat her down to tell her that they were getting back together. She had two off-broadway parts tucked underneath her belt and she was quickly pushing her way through her junior year at NYADA.

She wasn't the same Rachel Berry who had began this adventure three years ago. This Rachel Berry was just as big a star, she just didn't burn as brightly. The old Rachel was all determination, devotion, and pure want. The new Rachel was still all of those things, she was just a lot better at hiding it. This Rachel had been beaten down, run over, and switched around by the world.

She now understood the difference between showing character and actually having it, Rachel finally understood how not all things needed to be pointed out. Sometimes the world was better when it had it's secrets.

It's what led to her feigning shock at Blaine and Kurt's reunion. It's what pushed her to pretend like she hadn't noticed Blaine's things randomly appearing around their apartment or the odd number of bowties in the laundry-which, really? For two people who seemed set on keeping their recent recoupling a secret, they were doing a terrible job of not being found out. Rachel saw it coming for _months_. But instead of pushing and prying like the old Rachel would have done, she waited patiently for Kurt to come to her.

It took awhile but Kurt finally did. Which meant Rachel wouldn't have to knock three times before entering any room anymore and that she could actually leave her house before 8am on Wednesdays. She was happy about that and she was happy for them.

Maybe this Rachel wasn't all 'love, rainbows, and meant-to-be's' but she still knew true love when she saw it. Kurt and Blaine just needed the time to see it too.

She wasn't the same girl who used to live on dreams, now she was the girl who was living them. Of course she wasn't completely fulfilled or completely happy yet, but she was hoping that she was closer to getting there.

* * *

Rachel was twenty two and fresh faced when Finn Hudson came rearing back into her life. She had a degree from NYADA -along with a great deal of recommendations-and was set to star in her first major role in an off-broadway production (her fourth one overall).

The pay wasn't great. She finds herself eating top ramen more often than she'd like and having to borrow clothing from Kurt more than she should, but overall she's mostly _happy_.

It's something she struggled with a lot in High School (and if she's being honest, she still does)... back then Rachel wasn't very good at separating her happiness from others. She spent far too much time basing her own joy off of others (ie Finn & Jesse) and it took her years to establish a comfortable sense of self.

These days she spends her mornings rehearsing tirelessly for the role she fought tooth and nail for. She spends her nights helping Blaine prepare for his senior year at NYADA, and she spends somewhere in between praising Kurt for his constant success in the world of fashion. He never quite accomplished his dream of Broadway, but he seemed to be okay with it because he found something better along the way.

Her life is such a mad rush of _everything_ that Rachel barely has time to stop and breathe. So she barely notices the letter addressed to her that's laying on their kitchen table. She ignores it because she has to go meet Kurt for lunch and if she's late he won't let her pick a vegan friendly appetizer.

Rachel forgets all about the letter (with it's perfectly perfect handwriting) until three days later when she gets a weird email from Mercedes. It's only then that Rachel notices the two other letters addressed to Kurt and Blaine lying next to hers.

She opens hers because she was never really good at squelching her curiosity.

She's three lines in when her world starts moving again. It's the breath of fresh air she'd been incapable of grasping-until now. It's her pause button? It's a reminder of the things she's lost and places she came from.

These days she lets herself get so caught up in her life now that she often forgets who that girl was. She can't decide if that girl was ever really happy because she doesn't know if this girl is.

* * *

Kurt finds her hours later curled into a ball underneath their table. It takes him a moment to read the invitation and conclude that this is about Finn.

He wraps himself around Rachel as if her were her blanket and reassures her that this was the right way all along. That this moment, in this time, with these feelings were where she was always meant to end up.

"Honey," Kurt murmurs soothingly, "it's okay. It wouldn't have worked out between you two anyway."

**It- was their wedding.**

**Worked- is a relative term.**

(_Relative_ in the sense that Finn was fine with settling and _worked_ in the sense that Rachel was not.)

She doesn't tell Kurt why she's on the floor because he seems to already have his own ideas and Rachel doesn't want to shatter them with the truth. Keeping silent kind-of feels like she's lying to the girl who spent the majority of her childhood in Lima, Ohio. Rachel does it anyway.

Sometimes secrets are only real when they're said out loud.

It isn't until a couple of hours later that Rachel finally gets back up. She brushes off her clothing as if she didn't spend the better part of her day crumpled in a ball on the floor. she grabs her phone and decides that today she will be productive, today won't be about Finn Hudson and the life she left behind (the life she left him in).

She makes sure to decline Finn's RSVP before she heads to her room.

It's only a bit later that Rachel finally works up some motivation and sends out an email to the other Glee clubbers stating that she can't make it, and that she hopes one of them will be able to bring her words back with them to Lima.

Rachel takes the RSVP to Finn's wedding instead of mailing it back. The RSVP with the golden swirly writing, the type of bubbling letters that used to give her joy, the type of words that could have very much been hers under different circumstances. She takes that RSVP, the one that's beautiful in every essence (except for the bright red X that checked the decline box) and she puts it on the stand next to her bed.

Kurt will tell her later that it's an unhealthy way to remind herself of Finn and what 'could have been'. What he doesn't know is that Rachel keeps it as a reminder of how she made it out and Finn didn't.

* * *

It's months later (during that same year) when Rachel hears through the gleek line that Quinn Fabray was nominated for an Emmy. Oddly enough it's for her portrayal of a girl who's tormented by her peers on an almost daily basis. Rachel laughed at the irony but decided to be supportive. It hurt, to know that Quinn was succeeding where she wasn't, but that's always been her life.

It isn't until later, when Rachel is watching the telecast with Kurt and Blaine-who pretend as though they aren't this excited because of Quinn's success, even though Rachel knows. It isn't until she's sitting on a couch watching Quinn Fabray head to make her acceptance speech that Rachel realizes how she's genuinely happy for Quinn and her success.

She tunes out Kurt and Blaine's excited jabber and focuses her attention on Quinn Fabray. The very girl who tortured her, befriended her, and escaped with her. Rachel loves that there's tears in Quinn's eyes and she watches closely as Quinn gives the crowd a watery smile before opening her mouth to give her speech.

"I know there's a speech that I should be giving right now. Believe me when I say I'm thankful to everyone who helped me get here and I'm thankful to everyone who's guiding me along...but I promised myself years ago that if I ever made it and somebody, somewhere, was crazy enough to give me one of these." Quinn lifts the award and shakes it a little, earning a laugh from the audience. "That I'd give credit where it's due. So, Rachel Berry, this is for you. Goodnight."

Kurt and Blaine stare at the television screen in shock while Rachel just sits perfectly still. When they finally recover they bombard Rachel with questions she honestly can't answer. They don't get it but Rachel does. She understands all of it. Every push and every pull.

Rachel doesn't feel like explaining it to them so she goes to bed early, claiming that she's exhausted. They don't believe her and Rachel doesn't care. It's hard to explain a story that others think they were a part of even though they never were really there to _see_. She doesn't have the mental strength to try. So she goes to bed. The next day she frames Finn's RSVP and hangs it above her night stand.

It's one step towards that happy line she set up for herself years ago. Rachel doesn't know if it counts as her happiness when technically this was Quinn's accomplishment.

Still, it's nice to know she's not the only one who made it.

* * *

Rachel's twenty five when her dad Leroy calls to tell her that her daddy Hiram passed away in his sleep. She's the star of a play that's actually on Broadway. She isn't quite as fresh faced, shiny, and new as she used to be but she's got the talent and experience that others don't. She has a Tony and recently just received her second nomination.

She's crazy happy and the critics love her. She hasn't dated anyone, not since her bad break-up with the fashion assistant that Kurt set her up with a year ago. She's more dedicated than ever and she's still a hard worker and she's almost drowning in her success. She only eats ramen when she wants to these days or when she's visiting Blaine and Kurt at their new apartment.

Blaine has a weird love for ramen even though he's been making good money in his first broadway show and Kurt has been more than well off since his promotion to assistant editor. Rachel guesses that it's just a Blaine thing and let's it slide.

Rachel's so caught up in actually being close to where she wanted for once that it doesn't surprise her when something happens that makes everything crash and burn around her. She doesn't really say anything throughout the phone call because she doesn't want to make it worse for her dad. Somebody had to be the strong one and without her daddy, Rachel knew the task fell to her.

Rachel calls out of work and busts open a bottle of vodka. She's never been much of a drinker. She just wants her insides to match the burning that's going on around her.

It doesn't surprise her when Kurt and Blaine come in using the key she gave them for emergencies. She pays them no mind as they look at her with sad eyes. She can't bring herself to speak because she's afraid that everything will come bubbling towards the surface, so she stays silent and let's her best friends drink with her.

It isn't until Rachel's sure that both of them are asleep that she escapes outside. It was too suffocating, everything was too much and Rachel just wanted to breathe and sleep and be that fifteen year old girl again. The girl who played Yahtzee and Scrabble on a weekly basis with her dads. The girl who needed her daddy's usual homemade hot cocoa before bed.

She starts running because it's the only thing she can d and because it's nice to have a reason to start breathing again. It's scary and sad and terrible because Rachel knows she shouldn't feel as alone as she does right now. She knows she has Kurt and Blaine and others. She knows she shouldn't feel so terrified or heartbroken because at least she had her daddy for all these years.

It's just...Rachel knows it's stupid, but she had always had this silly notion that her fathers were invincible. She never thought they'd age, get weak, or die.

Knowing doesn't stop the tears that finally break the surface.

Knowing doesn't make anything better.

It's comforting though, to know that after all these years whenever she takes one step forward, she'll still take three steps back.

* * *

She's twenty five and a half when she attends her daddy's funeral. She holds her dad's hand and pretends like she's the tough one when she knows it's the other way around. Her dad has to be tough to not just give up on life now that he's alone.

Rachel is surprised by how much Lima stayed the same. Besides the occasional Wal-Mart, Lima was still the same sad place that she left almost eight years ago. The only difference is that Rachel is finally one of the people who's sad in it.

She used to take confidence in the fact that she never let this place break her like it did so many others. It turns out that Lima did break her, only a lot later than she thought it would. It's strange to see a place that gave her so many memories and still hate it with the same amount of passion that she used to.

Lima has always been undesirably cold and this day was no exception. All she wanted to do was get in, get done, and get away.

Apparently the other glee clubbers didn't agree.

Rachel knew Kurt and Blaine would attend because they were all so close and she even knew that Mercedes would take some time off at her record company to stop by. After Blaine and Kurt, Mercedes was most definitely her closest friend from Lima.

Rachel was surprised however, when she stepped foot onto the cemetery and wasn't just met by her three oldest friends, but almost the entire Glee Club as well. Finn and his wife-who looked a little too much like - and their daughter were in attendance. Along with Puck, Sam, Artie, Tina, Mike, Brittany, and -surprisingly-Santana.

It meant more to her than Rachel could admit out loud. The good thing about her gleeks was that she didn't have to say anything, they just knew. But still, Rachel was incredibly grateful that after all these years she wasn't really as alone as she felt. So when Puck invited her over for a glee party, Rachel didn't let herself say no.

She decides to go have fun and (funnily enough) she get's exceptionally plastered. So much so that when Finn corners her on her way to the restroom she doesn't hesitate to give him a hug. She only hesitates when he holds on for a second too long. She pulls away and gives Finn a dopey smile, the kind-of smile he's perfected over the years.

"You look good, Rach."

It's weird to have her old nickname tingle against her ears. She decides that she hates it when it comes from Finn in Lima. She hates anything that came and died and bred in Lima.

"Yeah, well, success does that to a girl." Rachel means to joke but it comes out way too snippy, as if Finn was supposed to be her punch-line all along.

Finn bends his head down in a way that Rachel used to find really attractive (but she now just finds it awkward). "I'm really sorry about your dad."

Rachel shrugs because that's all she can do to not run away. Finn inches closer and Rachel notices that his hairline is receding and he has a penchant for sweater vests that reminds her of her teen years.

"And, well, Rach. I'm sorry about a lot of it. I really miss you."

Rachel frowns as Finn speaks. This was exactly the type of speech that used to have her swooning but now it just has her confused.

"Finn," Rachel starts carefully. "You're married. You have a daughter."

Finn reared his head back as if Rachel burned him. "I know and I love them both. Especially baby Leighton, it's just, I regret not following you to New York. I regret not believing enough. I just wanted you to know that."

It's then that Rachel finally realizes where this is going, where it's been going all along, where it should never have been in the first place.

"Yo, creeper galore, lay off the Berries, will ya?"

Rachel turns around quickly to see Santana Lopez...look exactly like Santana Lopez would in a situation like this. It would be amusing if Santana and Rachel had kept in touch over the years. Instead it was just strange.

A lot of things about adulthood and Lima and this place were strange. That seemed to be Rachel's key word for this entire experience. She decided to tell Santana that and started to edge closer to her until she was a few feet away from Santana and years away from Finn (always years away from Finn).

Then Rachel proceeded to throw up on Santana and everything quickly shifted from strange to wacky.

* * *

Rachel is twenty five and a half and covered in vomit when she's saved by Santana Lopez. It's odd to think that this is where they would end up-especially since they practically hated each others guts so many years ago.

It's Santana that pushes Finn away and prevents Rachel from making a huge mistake (again). It's Santana who cleans Rachel up and tells her stories about a girl whos father passed away during her junior year of college. She talks about sadness and heartache in such a way that Rachel is immediately suspicious that the girl was Santana.

Still, she doesn't say anything.

It's Santana who tells her about how Brittany's doing, how she just got back from a tour with Beyoncé and Usher and how Santana's turning into quite the producer. She tells Rachel how her show (that Santana herself created) received multiple awards and how she never would have gotten there if an annoying short girl didn't show her how life could be different.

Santana tells Rachel how she still sings for her show sometimes (and for Brittany always) as she leads Rachel out of the house. She tells Rachel that she's creating a new show about a girl who hates musicals, so her life turns into one. Santana tells Rachel how funny it is that she would end up writing and producing a show based around singing and Santana tells her that she wants Rachel to be a part of it, that she always wanted Rachel to be a part of it.

"Anyway, Berry, I was the preview. That," Santana nods her head at something behind Rachel. "Is the main feature."

Santana leaves as Rachel turns around in confusion. This Lima is so different yet so the same that Rachel can't wrap her head around any of it. That or it's the liquor, she really didn't know. Rachel stops when she finally recognizes the figure Santana had addressed earlier.

It takes her a second before she smiles a huge smile (because it's Quinn-except it isn't) and takes in the girl in front of her. Quinn's hair is longer and her clothing is more her, but overall, she looks like the same girl who left. Minus the cane she's sporting in her right hand. Rachel can't help the flood of heat that rushed everywhere at the memory of Quinn's crash.

Quinn notices Rachel's eyes linger on her cane for a second too long, so she moves forward. "The cold makes it a little hard to walk. It's no big deal. It makes me feel classy."

Rachel smiles. All curiosity and happiness and drunken mornings. Quinn shrugs. "I'm sorry I missed the funeral, Rach. It turns out it's really hard to find a flight out of Paris."

Rachel jumps before Quinn can say anything else. She envelopes Quinn in the hug that she always wanted to (but never understood why). Quinn returns the hug, her cane dropping to the floor.

It's minutes before Rachel finally pulls away. "You put me in your speech."

"You got me out of Lima."

Rachel smiled her first real genuine smile that day. "Friends?"

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "I don't know, do you think eight years was enough time?"

Rachel went on to genuinely laugh for the first time since she heard about her daddy's death. Maybe things weren't heading in a bad way. Maybe the way they were meant to go was this way all along and Rachel just had to hold on through the bad stuff again until she got back to the good stuff.

Maybe she was finally taking another step forward.

* * *

Rachel Berry is twenty six when she moves to LA to pursue a television career. It turns out that Santana's was serious about her offer. A few weeks after Rachel spoke to her, she received a pilot script to Santana's new show. Rachel was hesitant to take it because Rachel Berry didn't need hand outs, she made it on her talent and skills alone.

It's just that...Santana's script was really, really good.

Rachel would still get to sing, her pay would be increased, and she'd get the benefit of working with one of her high school friends. If things went well, this would open a whole bunch of other doors for Rachel and to be quite honest, she needed a break from the city. She needed opportunities.

Don't get her wrong, New York would always be Rachel's home. It would always be her freedom. She just needed a change in scenery since her daddy's death, a pace that was different than Broadway. A place that gave her the chance to stop and breathe and remember. Plus, Blaine and Kurt were settling into their routines and it was a constant reminder of how Rachel didn't quite have their happy ending.

She was always close but never quite _there_.

It was irritating. Rachel had always figured that she would feel truly happy when she was finally accomplished in Broadway. But now that she was, all she wanted to do was go try other things. She didn't feel happy, just successful.

So when Santana asked her to fly out to audition, Rachel jumped at the chance. Her audition process was quick and solid (mostly because Santana already wanted her) and before she knew it she was being asked to come back to LA to shoot the pilot.

Rachel found a new level of excitement that she hadn't felt in months. She flew down after a week and stayed with Santana as they filmed the pilot. Rachel was incredibly surprised to find that Brittany and Santana were just as in love as they were in High School and that Santana was truly and exceptionally good at her job.

She was also surprised to find out that Quinn had gotten the other starring role.

It turned out that Santana had done the same thing for Quinn that she had for Rachel. She had offered Quinn a role that she wanted her to play and Quinn-like Rachel-couldn't say no.

Rachel wasn't at all disappointed with Quinn being there. In fact, after her daddy's funeral they had both kept in touch. She was just surprised that Quinn hadn't mentioned anything in her emails and that she had honestly had the time.

Quinn was usually busy filming film after film. After her portrayal as the tormented teen in her tv show and after two emmys, Quinn had decided to pursue the bigger and better ventures. She was highly sought after and had already been nominated for her first academy award, Rachel was shocked that Quinn actually decided she had the time to go back to television. Overall, she was just thrilled.

It quickly became apparent why Santana had wanted both of them to play these roles. Rachel was the bitchy, hard edged, girl who had the tendency to be cruel. She was the girl whos life turned into a musical. Quinn was the soft spoken, over-achieving, tormented girl who lived and breathed music. It was almost as if Santana was recreating their childhoods with them in opposite roles.

Rachel had more fun than she thought she would while filming though. Santana had really done a great job of molding a story about a girl who has genuine problems, a girl who was in college and terrified of the real world. Nobody was surprised when they got the go ahead for a full season.

So Rachel moved from New York to LA and started filming. It was tough work and long days and she often found herself missing Kurt and Blaine, but she was enjoying herself for the first time in awhile. She found herself spending more and more time with Quinn, Santana, and Brittany, and often found herself wondering if this was always her path.

"Rach, what are you zoning out about?"

Rachel broke from her concentration to stare at her friend. They were hanging out in Quinn's trailer in-between takes (her trailer was always warmer) and Rachel just kept zoning out.

"Nothing. Just thinking about how you ended up back on a television show when you have such a promising film career ahead of you."

Quinn's smile is breathtaking. "That's easy. I just asked myself what Rachel Berry would do."

Three steps forward, no steps back.

* * *

Rachel Berry is twenty seven when she decides that Quinn Fabray might be her best friend, lands her first leading role in a film, and wins her first Emmy.

It's all so much that Rachel can barely remember to think, let alone breath. Kurt and Blaine can't stop shouting over the phone or sending her weird text messages about Claire Danes and Rachel just has to shut off her phone so she can think.

Which is exactly her problem when she's standing on the stage in front of everyone and not saying anything. She keeps thinking things that should be leaving her mouth but instead she's just frozen. At least, until she makes eye contact with Quinn.

Quinn, who looks beautiful in her light pink dress and silver heels. Quinn, who's giving her a 'thumbs up' sign as if it'll solve all of Rachel's problems. Maybe it does.

Rachel takes a page out of Quinn's book and decides to give one of the shortest speeches known to man.

"This is for everyone who made it out of their Lima, Ohio."

* * *

Rachel is twenty seven and a half when she decides that Quinn Fabray is her best friend. She isn't just saying that because she's living with her or because she can only Skype with Kurt and Blaine these days.

No, it's much bigger than that.

It's that words had always been her cushions because they filtered the silence. They covered a void that Rachel had always felt uncomfortable in.

It's the fact that there are some nights, nights that were quieter than others, nights when she was usually alone, where she'd curl into a ball and just _feel_.

It's easier to be happy when you're surrounded by people because then you have a reason to fake it. It becomes a show, your life, and you suddenly find yourself more interested in pretending to be this person than in actually being.

The only problem with pretending is that somewhere along the way, she stopped being able to tell what was real and what wasn't. She took that sadness that leaked into her pores after her father died and she buried it, stuffed it, and closed it in a box. She made sure that everything that could break her would only come out when she wanted to.

But then as Rachel went on she couldn't tell what she wanted from what she was supposed to want. And instead of feeling safe and secure and prepared for the world, all she really felt was alone.

Then Quinn came along and changed everything. She understood what it meant to be that person without having to ask Rachel what was wrong. She cooked Rachel dinner, sang her songs, told her stories. She apologized for the girl she used to be and listened whenever Rachel needed it. Most of all, Quinn wasn't silent and she never let Rachel be silent either.

It was a start.

She often finds herself wondering if this is the closest to happiness she'll ever get. Sometimes Rachel feels like she's okay with it if it is.

* * *

Rachel Berry was twenty eight and a half when her onscreen character kisses Quinn Fabray's on screen character. She was set to star in her third movie, had two Emmy's (to accompany her two Tony's) and was preparing for the biggest role in her life so far: Kurt and Blaine's maid of honor in their wedding.

She's happy for them (like she always is) but it's often devastating to see how they found true happiness when she just found a career. Rachel doesn't want to be the negative nelly so she throws herself into their wedding in complete full force as well as tossing herself completely into her characters story with Quinn.

She was so far in both that it almost felt like she was drowning.

Kurt and Blaine were oddly picky and specific about their wedding ceremony. It was grating on Rachel's busiest days. So when she found herself feeling overwhelmed, she'd focus on her character's (Leighton) relationship with Quinn's (Dakota). It honestly should have surprised her but if she was being honest, she had always been curious about the relationship between their characters. It was too much like their own life in the beginning. It was too passionate and too devastating to just be something between friends.

It was something she didn't want to worry about because they were well into their third season and the reviews for the show were still great. Santana really knew what she was doing and if this was what she wanted then Rachel would gladly participate. Her excitement only grew when Quinn told her how excited she was for this direction. The same Quinn who wrote Rachel notes on post-it's everywhere and blew her kisses whenever Rachel was looking. The same Quinn who made everything worse before she made everything better. The same Quinn who loved Rachel more than anyone else she knew.

It's strange to think about but Rachel would have followed Quinn wherever she was leading. Whether it was three steps forward or eight steps back, she honestly didn't care.

She's nearing twenty nine when life imitates art that sorta imitated life to begin with. Rachel had started dating one of her male co-stars only to drop him quickly when he started digging in on her history with Quinn. It was a little too much for something that was never really little and Rachel refused to deal with it.

She didn't understand this whole thing with Quinn and she never did. She didn't think she really wanted to understand it either.

Nevertheless, Rachel trudged her way home after she abruptly ended their date. Los Angeles was oddly smoggy and quiet and it just made her miss New York. New York was always loud enough to silence her thoughts. Especially when she wanted it to.

She pushed open the door to the house she shared with Quinn before stripping off her shoes and hanging her purse up.

She made her way into the kitchen and caught sight of Quinn. Quinn was wearing her glasses and lounging in her PJ's while drinking a glass of wine. She frowned when she noticed Rachel.

"What happened?"

Rachel flounced onto the couch right next to her. "Nothing, just a shmuck."

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "That's what you said about the last guy, Rach."

"Yeah, well, maybe they all majored together in anatomy of being a shmuck."

Quinn laughed. Her laughter tingling around Rachel's ears. "Maybe you should just take a break?"

Rachel sighed exasperated. "Quinn, I'm nearing thirty. I can't take the chance that I'll just end up alone forever."

"You won't end up alone. You have me, silly." Quinn said, her foot nudging Rachel's elbow.

It's like those moments in a movie where the main character finally understands what's going on. Moments over the years flashed before her eyes and Rachel found herself deciding that this _is _where life was leading her all along. This is where life tried to put her, but she was too stubborn and ended up having to take a really long detour.

She still ended up here almost fifteen years later though and it's almost hilarious to think that she'd been ignoring all the signs this whole time. It's strange the way life works, how you can start off one person and end up somebody completely different and still not know what the whole point of it all was.

It's weird to think that she was once a girl with a plan and now she was the girl who was kissing Quinn Fabray without even a shred of one.

Rachel couldn't lie, it's not like she hasn't thought about this before. It's hard not to when your day job literally consists of you kissing said person. But she would be lying if she said she had this whole thing planned. She wasn't certain what led up to this moment or even what made her leap from her end of the couch to Quinn's-or even, why Quinn was kissing her back. Life was sketchy that way. It pulled you along and let you believe that you were always meant to be a specific person.

The reality though is that life changes. Rachel met people and she made choices and she had experiences that molded her someone new. And that someone just so happened to be currently shoving her tongue down Quinn Fabray's throat.

Suddenly everything started hitting her at once and Rachel started to feel overwhelmed. She pulled back from Quinn's lips with a pop. The blonde's cheeks were tinged pink but otherwise her face showed no emotion, besides relief.

"Quinn I apologize, that was crazy and forward and terrifying an-"

"Rach," Quinn cut off gently, " both know I have to do something more than once before I can learn from it."

Rachel grinned.

* * *

Kurt Hummel was thirty four when he attended Rachel Berry's wedding (as her best man). He was accomplished in the world of Fashion, officially raking in more than six figures a year, and he was married to his High School sweetheart.

He had officially escaped the horrors of Lima and he was on his way to genuinely making an impact where (he figured) he was always meant to. Sure, there were moments when he missed showtunes and the stage, but sometimes life has a plan for you and it isn't what you always thought it'd be. Kurt's not upset with his decision to continue in Fashion and he feels no reason like he should be.

Rachel Berry had always been more destined for the stage, anyway. Kurt had decided this long ago when Rachel was sixteen and putting her dreams before living. Which brings him back to the wedding.

Honestly, he had seen this coming for ages. Kurt always figured that Quinn Fabray was the type of girl to put a ring on it and she had been sniffing around Rachel as if she were a dog in heat for years. Rachel was the one who never paid attention to the forlorn looks or the convenient traps. Just like Rachel was the one who wanted to wait. Who could blame her though? That Finn fiasco was something someone should never have to relive.

The first time Kurt had had an inkling was back in highschool when Dave Karofsky kissed him. Kurt brushed it off because Blaine convinced him that it was too cliché for the three biggest bullies in McKinley to all be gay (ie Santana, Dave, and Quinn). So he let it slide with the excuse that Quinn was much too prissy to ever get her head out of her ass and realize how passive aggressive she was being.

The second time Kurt had been curious was when Quinn had thanked Rachel in her Emmy speech. Sure, Rachel and Quinn could blab all they wanted about how the speech was because they helped each other escape, but he knew better. People just don't go around mentioning someone they hadn't seen in three years, it's absurd. However, he let it go after months of nothing (no signs, no traps, no contact) from Rachel and Quinn.

The third time Kurt didn't even bother getting suspicious because he just _knew_. While Santana Lopez wasn't the monster she pretended to be, he knew she still wasn't the type of girl to go out of her way to help Rachel. After Kurt started thinking about it everything just started clicking into place. Santana and Quinn were best friends. Quinn left a promising movie career to go back to television and she offered Rachel her home. They were both playing the leads. The lead characters ended up falling in love and both Rachel and Quinn had to portray an on-screen romance.

Not to mention the huge fact that when Finn Hudson had gone looking for Rachel a year after his divorce-really, Kurt had seen that coming too-it was Quinn who told Finn that Rachel had moved on. It was Quinn who asked him to leave. It was Quinn who had defended his best friends honor.

Kurt had to hand it to Quinn. She was patient in a way that Finn never was. She waited and took her time and didn't push when Rachel didn't need it. She became Rachel's friend first, then her best friend, her lover, and finally her wife.

There was a time where Kurt had felt that Finn was the best thing for Rachel. He was also sixteen.

Standing by his best friend as she stared at her one-time-enemy, he almost felt as if this was always the best thing for Rachel. He watched as Quinn opened her mouth (her eyes shining with tears) and gave vows that no gay man would ever give (and hopefully would never say) at a wedding. He watched as Quinn looked at Rachel adoringly and said:

"Beauty, Brains, and absolutely insane. You're my dream girl."

They had their moments along the years where everyone wasn't certain they'd make it, but Kurt always knew. Like when they were thirty and Rachel found out that Quinn had dismissed Finn without ever telling her (that fight had lasted for two days and ended with Rachel on his couch and Quinn at his door). Or that time when Rachel was thirty two and had been absolutely certain that Quinn's indie film co-star had a thing for her (which she obviously did, btw, but it so wasn't his business). Quinn was a very pretty girl and Rachel was incredibly possessive (scarily so). Who could blame her though? Quinn didn't have the best track record. Anyway, after a fight where Rachel "demanded" that Quinn leave this project (because she was scared and too afraid to admit it) to pursue other films, Quinn had finally called it quits.

It devastated Rachel in a way that Finn never could have been capable of. She moped for _weeks_. She would get drunk and call up Kurt and leave him sad messages about how if Quinn really loved her she wouldn't have left her alone. He was devastated for her and decided to go give Quinn a piece of his mind.

The thing was though, that Quinn was just as heartbroken, she just had more practice at hiding it. She had defenses like Brittany and Santana that were almost impossible for Kurt to break through. When he finally did though, he realized that Quinn had been Rachel's person all along. It took almost two months for Quinn and Rachel to realize the same thing. It was their longest (and only) separation. If anything, they came back stronger and it was beautiful to see.

Kurt Hummel was thirty four when he stood at his best friends wedding to the girl who he used to believe was out to her ruin her life. He was hot, tired, impressed, and he couldn't help but watch Rachel because Rachel Berry was thirty three and finally happy.


End file.
